


mysterious & smexy ;-)

by porcelain_cats



Series: Not Quite Right - The MySpace AU [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: AOL Instant Messenger, Huxgazing, M/M, hux's laugh sounds like a chittering bug, kylo "heart eyes" ren, myspace au, myspace au canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-12 21:50:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7123777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/porcelain_cats/pseuds/porcelain_cats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo's been crushing hard on ControlledBleeding, his cyberbully/MySpace rival, but has never seen his face or heard his voice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	mysterious & smexy ;-)

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is mostly just an excuse for Huxgazing if I'm being perfectly honest.  
> Fun fact: the first Youtube video I ever saw was of a bear falling on a trampoline. It was embedded on my friend Mark's MySpace page and took like 3 hours to load. We were chatting on AIM and he kept asking me if I had watched it yet and I was like, "Man like one second of this video will play every 10 minutes I'm doing my best here."
> 
> Blessed be my bro and beta Harv (2face here and antivan-brandy on tumblr). Thank you for helping me to not sound like a complete doofus.

It was the drool dripping onto Kylo's hand that stirred him first. He had dozed off in front of his computer; apparently **BEAR FALLS ON TRAMPOLINE!!!!** wasn't as enthralling of a video as he originally thought. What really brought him out of his stupor was the familiar and thrilling ping of his instant messenger. _God, fucking finally,_ he thought.

Kylo clicked out of the Youtube window, anxious to see who wanted to chat. He hoped it might be ControlledBleeding, his current obsession, but dashed the thought as quickly as it came. ControlledBleeding never initiated their chats unless Kylo had recently posted something incriminating on his MySpace page, and today was one of those rare occasions when he had been too tired to edit his photos past recognition or fill out hundred-question bulletin surveys. He scolded himself for slacking off, potentially forfeiting one of the near-daily interactions he loved so much.

He swore his heart stopped for a second when he opened the chat window- "ControlledBleeding has messaged you."

> **ControlledBleeding:** Hello, Kylo.
> 
> **xXxBeautyTornAparTxXx:** omggggggg hai~ u nvr msg meh 1st!!
> 
> **xXxBeautyTornAparTxXx:** finally fallen 4 me? ;-)
> 
> **ControlledBleeding:** Ha. Very funny. No.
> 
> **xXxBeautyTornAparTxXx:** awwwww u make meh a sad panda ( ;3;)
> 
> **ControlledBleeding:** Tell me, what do you think I look like?
> 
> **xXxBeautyTornAparTxXx:** ????
> 
> **xXxBeautyTornAparTxXx:** wat?? y? 
> 
> **ControlledBleeding:** Just curious. Humor me.

Kylo had to take a minute to gather his thoughts. He spent many nights and class periods daydreaming about what his cyberbully-turned-crush could look like, but the possibilities were endless. The only information Kylo had to go on was what was on ControlledBleeding's MySpace profile, and that info was severely lacking. Male, seventeen. That was it. If he gave a shit about the school's yearly internet safety lecture he wouldn't even give credibility to _those_ two measly factoids, but as things were, Kylo did not give any shits, not a one. There were a handful of characteristics that kept appearing during Kylo's daytime fantasies though, so he settled on using those for his response.

> **xXxBeautyTornAparTxXx:** lol ok well i mean 1st of all ur prolly liek tall dark n handsome...
> 
> **ControlledBleeding:** You can do better than that. Don't disappoint me.
> 
> **xXxBeautyTornAparTxXx:** i wasnt even done yet GAWDDDDDDDD
> 
> **xXxBeautyTornAparTxXx:** ok so u've got long raven black hair with blue extenshunz
> 
> **xXxBeautyTornAparTxXx:** also u have a blue streak in ur bangz n they cover up half ur face. very mysterious  & smexy ;-)
> 
> **ControlledBleeding:** Go on...
> 
> **xXxBeautyTornAparTxXx:** ur skin is like......rly smooth but u have sum scars since u prolly have like a dark past but dont worry cuz i think scars are hot
> 
> **ControlledBleeding:** How comforting.
> 
> **xXxBeautyTornAparTxXx:** O YEA and u have umm idk red or pruple eyes and u wear lots of black eyeliner
> 
> **xXxBeautyTornAparTxXx:** sooooooooo~ am i right?? XD
> 
> **ControlledBleeding:** You'll find out soon. 
> 
> **xXxBeautyTornAparTxXx:** HOLY SHIT OMG WHEN???!??!?!??!?!
> 
> **ControlledBleeding:** Hm... tomorrow, perhaps. 
> 
> **xXxBeautyTornAparTxXx:** omggggg idk if i can wait that longgggggg :-(
> 
> **ControlledBleeding:** Be patient or I won't show you anything. 
> 
> **ControlledBleeding:** Goodnight, Kylo. 
> 
> _ControlledBleeding is offline._

Kylo couldn't believe what he was reading. He would get to see ControlledBleeding, his Angel of Death. _The man of his dreams._ The anticipation was almost unbearable and he hadn't even logged off the computer yet. Kylo jumped into bed and made a concerted effort to fall asleep as fast as possible. Tomorrow couldn't come soon enough.

 

* * *

 

Finn and Poe sat side by side on the curb in front of the school, sharing a styrofoam plate of fries. It was their lunch break, and the two were waiting for Rey and Kylo to join them.

The former appeared and plopped down next to Finn. She proceeded to bite a fry out of his hand while he laughed, oblivious, at one of Poe's stories- probably something about band camp. Finn brought his hand to his mouth before pausing to give it a bewildered look when he found that his fry was no longer there.

"Hey! That's my lunch!"

Rey shot him a grin, mushed bits of french fry still in her teeth. "You have an _entire_ plate there on top of the lunch you brought. I think you'll survive." She laughed and helped herself to another from the pile, chewing victoriously.

"I'm a growing boy, Rey," Finn whined, "I need lots of calories to remain alert during class. How _dare_ you jeopardize my scholarly goals..." He feigned distress and draped himself dramatically over Poe as if the whole world was crashing down around him. "Oh, _woe is_ _me!"_

"Woe is you, but Poe is me," Poe mumbled from beneath his boyfriend. Finn and Rey glanced at each other before bursting into laughter.

"Wow, good one dude. You blaze it before school today or what?" The three looked up from their spots on the curb to find the source of the remark. Kylo sat down next to Poe and gave him a knowing look. "I should of smoked some this morning too, to be honest."

Poe blinked at him, perplexed. "What's up, man? You stressed? I've got some weed if you wan-" 

_"Oh my god,_ put that away!" Rey reached over Finn to shove Poe's hand away from the jacket pocket where he kept a small stash.

Poe snorted, "Nevermind then."

Laying back onto the sidewalk, Kylo let out a prolonged groan and crossed both his arms over his face, muffling his voice when he spoke. "You guys... Today is like, gonna be one of the _best days_ of my entire life, but I have no fuckin' clue when it's gonna actually _start_ being that."

Kylo couldn't see it, but he could tell from Rey's voice that she was rolling her eyes, "So are you going to tell us _why_ today is going to be the best day of your life or are you just going to wallow on the sidewalk in anxiety until you get covered in ants?"

A dreamy sigh escaped Kylo's lips as he lowered his arms from his face. "Okay well... there's this guy... on MySpace. ControlledBleeding."

"Isn't that the guy who calls you a slut all the time and takes pictures of roadkill?" Finn asked. "That dude's creepy, man."

"Ugh, Finn, shut up!" Kylo looked offended. "But, yeah, uh... that's him. Anyway, we've been chatting on AIM and stuff for like, more than a year now, but I've never seen what he looks like. Last night he told me I would find out today. I'm just like, _so excited,_ but I have no idea when he's gonna send me a picture or whatever and I want the day to be _over already."_

There was a long pause before Rey broke the silence. _"This_ is the best day of your life? Getting to see what Dahmer Junior looks like? This is as good as it gets?" 

Poe turned to Kylo with mock-seriousness, "What if those pictures of roadkill were all him? Like he just turned out to be a pile of flattened animals using a computer? Pretty fuckin' scary."

Finn closed his eyes and shook his head. "Wow, that's... an idea. Good thinking..." Poe beamed at his boyfriend with a winning smile, pleased with himself. "Okay, but Kylo, why is seeing this dude such a big deal? You got a crush on him or something?"

Kylo felt the heat rise in his cheeks. "YES! I have a crush on him, okay?! You'd be excited too if your mysterious soulmate finally revealed himself to you-" The bell rang to signal the end of lunch, preventing Kylo from continuing. He heaved a giant sigh as he languidly pushed himself up off the sidewalk.

Taking one last look at Kylo, Poe mumbled to Finn, _"Damn,_ dude... _he's got it bad."_

 

* * *

 

Kylo was the first person to bolt out the door as soon as his last class ended. The sooner he got home and on his computer the better.

In his haste to pack, Kylo knocked a particularly heavy textbook out of his locker and onto his foot. He muttered a string of obscenities as he knelt down to grab it, and on his way up something shiny caught his eye.

It was a pair of shoes. Not that there was anything special about seeing shoes in a hallway packed with people, but Kylo didn't recognize this pair. The locker next to his belonged to a girl who wore Crocs religiously, and these glossy black ankle boots were definitely not part of Crocs' fall line. Croc-girl's boyfriend maybe? He had no reason to wait here - Kylo knew she was on the lacrosse team with Rey and went straight to practice at the end of the day. They didn't belong to any of Kylo's friends either, since they always made their presence known instead of lurking behind his locker door. 

_What am I doing worrying about a pair of shoes?_ Kylo shook his head. _Stop wasting time, today is the big day!_ Kylo slid the last of his belongings into his backpack and closed his locker, coming face to face with the most intense eyes he had ever seen. They were opened just a little too wide.

"Hello, Kylo." A tiny smirk played on the full lips of the speaker. Kylo froze.

"Uh, hey. Do... do I know you?"

The boy chuckled, bringing an elegant freckled hand to his mouth like a lady of polite society. "You might."

Kylo dimly recognized the boy's voice, lilting and proper with the slightest bit of a lisp. He could remember hearing it in biology class, from somewhere in the back where the good kids were placed since they apparently didn't need to be under the constant scrutiny of their instructor. But not that far back, for the pompous yapping had gotten the boy into trouble countless times. He was smart, but he seemed to think he should be the one running the class. What was the name that always accompanied "go to the principal's office…?" Shucks? Fucks? No wait, Fux?

Hux. That was it. 

Kylo had heard about Hux more than he had actually seen or interacted with him. They only shared two classes together, biology and phys-ed, and Hux was always in and out of them for one reason or another. His reputation was atrocious, filled with rumors of stabbings and trying to set the school on fire, choking and tripping and headbutting the other kids during phys-ed. Kylo was no angel, but even he had limits when it came to disobeying authority. Hux seemed like chaos incarnate and yet...

Here he was, prim and poised, every bit of his dark, monochromatic ensemble tucked perfectly into place. This was the Hux that _stabbed_ someone? Kylo looked him up and down, consciously noting that Hux's twill trousers rivalled his own dayglo jeans in their tightness. _I wonder where he got those, I should-_

_Stop._ Kylo needed to speed this encounter along. He had important internet matters to attend to, after all. ControlledBleeding was probably waiting for him.

Those eyes, though... those eyes held him still. They were a cruel blue-green, cold as ice and fierce as fire. Despite the delicate, golden, and almost translucent lashes framing them, Kylo began to see how these could be the eyes of the Hux from the rumors after all. 

"You know, it's rather rude to stare." 

"W-what? Oh, sorry, I guess I... zoned out for a second there." Kylo laughed nervously, inwardly kicking himself for apologizing to the one who was doing all the staring. "So um, did you need something? 'Cause I've kind of got to be somewhere."

Hux ran a hand over his immaculate ginger hair and Kylo swore he caught a glimpse of Hux's fingers twitching, awkwardly mismatched with what initially appeared to be a smooth gesture. _Was that a twitch of the eye, too?_

"You're exactly where you need to be, Kylo." Hux had gotten closer, the smattering of freckles across his nose and cheeks brought into high definition.

Kylo swallowed audibly and tried not to let his proximity fluster him, but he was a glutton for physicality and Hux was just _so pretty._ He wouldn't mind ControlledBleeding looking like this...

"I-I am? Wha- how would you know where I'm supposed to be?"

Hux bit his bottom lip and leaned his head onto the locker beside him. "Hm, I wonder..." A devilish grin spread across his pale face and he laughed, though it was more like a stilted titter or the chittering of a bug. "I would apologize for not living up to your high expectations, but you don't seem to be too disappointed. I hope I'm 'mysterious and smexy' enough for your taste." The unsettling laugh returned, more maniacal than before.

Oh. _Oh._

"xXxBeautyTornAparTxXx, it's been a _pleasure_ meeting you in person. I look forward to chatting with you online tonight."

Kylo was rooted to the floor as he watched Hux- ControlledBleeding, finally revealed!- walk daintily down the hall. 

Maybe it was the nerves, but Kylo swore he saw Hux _wink_ at him before exiting the building.

;-)


End file.
